One thing that I’ve been pondering lately is why when I am at my job as an academic librarian do, I feel so much motivation to write, to read, and to learn? Within moments of getting home all of the motivation tends to leave me. More than likely it is because it is past 11pm by the time that I get home, but I usually don’t get the surge again until I am back at the college library. Even when I am at my day job at the public library I usually don’t feel quite as motivated as I do when I’m at working at the college library. Is it because I am surrounded by people that are there to improve themselves and that energy rubs off on me? Maybe it’s because I am surrounded by a huge amount of knowledge that has been proven and reviewed. Not that this doesn’t exist at the public library, but many times when teens come in or parents bring their children in it isn’t always to help make them better or to learn anything. It is just a place to go that everyone can play games, listen to stories, watch movies, and use the computers. It is just entertainment and not necessarily education.
So why the next day after I have written these blog posts does it take me so long to edit the post? Seriously sometimes it takes weeks and it really shouldn’t take any more than 20 minutes. I haven’t yet posted my previous post about time management (this post definitely goes along with that post) as I am at the library writing this one. It isn’t like I wrote it and forgot about the post. I think about it frequently but when I am at home, I lack the motivation to do anything about it and that needs to stop. Tomorrow I am going to edit it (I have a couple things I want to add) and post it as soon as I get home from my meeting.
Why do I do this, though? I know that I’m not the only one that does. I feel like it is because my home is my safe place. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do when I’m home. Sure, my stairs could use vacuuming and the bathroom wiped down, but is it isn’t like I absolutely have to do these things. My life doesn’t depend on it and I’m not getting paid to do it. Would I enjoy my time at more if I did these things more often? Yes, without a doubt. If I spent 30 or so minutes cleaning/writing/reading every day I would be so much happier because there wouldn’t be dust bunnies in the corners staring at me and judging me. The guilt of being lazy sucks!
Since I know that I would be happier why is it so easy to be so damn lazy? I know that I said this in my last post, but I feel like my phone is a major reason. First thing in the morning I check and delete most of my email and the I immediately get on social media to see if there is anything newsworthy (social media newsworthy anyway) going on. I feel like this is my down fall, but I also feel like if I don’t check it something important might be going on and I wouldn’t know. This is one reason that I feel like social media has become an addition, for me at least. I realized that it really had become an addiction the other day when I sat down and turned on the television and picked a foreign language film that I had not previously seen. I wasn’t sure if they had dubbed over the film in English or there would be subtitles but when I saw that there were subtitles, I continued to watch. After a while like an automatic response I picked up my phone and missed several minutes of the movie because I wasn’t reading the subtitles without even noticing and I didn’t know what was going on in the film anymore.
When I am sitting on my couch, I realize that my phone is always in my hand and my husband and brother are the same way. I wonder how much I miss because I’m not fully paying attention to what is going on in the movie or show. I feel like most people are like this especially if we are watching a show or movie that we have seen 100 times before. I’m sure that most people only pay attention to a show fully is when they are in the theater and how often do, we miss movies in the theater and wait until they are on Netflix because we ran out of time only to miss most of the movie because we are focusing more on our phones than the actual film.
One reason that I think I’m so motivated while I am at work at the college library is because I don’t have my phone on me and I’m not on social media on the computer. Not that I can’t check my phone but for the most part it stays in my bag. Even when I’m at the public library I get on Pinterest (mostly for work purposes) to look up games to play for a Minute to Win it program I’m having, book club questions, Harry Potter crafts, etc. Somehow it always turns into me just scrolling through thousands of things that really have no appeal to me, very similar to social media.
I am going to say this again: I am going to try not to be on my phone so much. I don’t want to look back at my life and realized that I spent half of my waking hours staring at a screen that hasn’t really given me anything but a way to occupy my time that wasn’t productive.